Why I wrote this book:
I wrote this book because a young lady I was intimate with said I should teach a course on how to satisfy a woman.
Now, I accept the possibility that those words
may have been standard boost-your-man's-ego pillow talk that every man hears at some point,
but, being the literalist I am, I took her suggestion to heart and prompted her to say more
about why she thought it would be a good idea:
"Well, you had some very common sense ideas about men and women--how they interact,
and how to maximize that interaction for intimacy and enjoyment of each other sexually and in other ways--
that seem to have been overlooked/lost/not emphasized, even almost purposely squashed in our society today.
"Your common sense ideas set off a physical chain reaction in me that made me feel more feminine,
inspired me to express my femininity, awakened feminine desires, and clearly put me in touch with what
I wanted you to do to me to satisfy those feminine desires.
"In listening to your outlook on man/woman dynamics, I was left with a palpable sense
of your masculinity and my femininity, and how much of a turn-on our differences in this arena are,
and I think other men and women could really stand to finally handle the truth!"
Cool! Thanks, for that, sweetie. Admittedly, I think she's biased, but nevertheless,
I wrote this book, therefore, to share:
(1) a philosophy and personal belief system about relationships and sexuality
(2) a concept of masculinity and femininity that works for me and my girlfriends
(3) personal compatibility and selection standards that keep me happy
(4) behavioral guidelines that keep me guilt-free and free in general in my relationships
(5) private sex practices that keep me young, strong and virile...and make my partners delirious
(6) my positions on monogamy, marriage, gender roles, porn, kinks, fetishes,
and biological wiring that allow me the freedom of loving honestly with others,
and, most importantly, of loving true to my self! all supported by
(7) actual conversations, correspondence, emails with input and feedback from the women I date
In other words, I wrote this book to share the things you'd get to know
and need to know about me, as well as the criteria you'd have to meet...if you want to be my girlfriend!
While doing the research for this book, I was asked if I intended this to be a "how to" manual for men.
Well, I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to tell other men how they should live their lives. I'm simply offering my own thoughts,
beliefs and practices as a first-hand account of what works for me. These ideas
and practices are simply one option--a choice that at least one other man (me) has made for his life.
Should others wish to follow them on a path of their own happiness, I won't sue!
So, while I won't go so far as to say that this is something every man can or should do, I will say that the
changes I made in my own living and loving were necessary for my own happiness,
because of what I observe and interpret as shortcomings, flaws and outright deception in the belief system
that informs the overall state of relationships in our society. As a result, there
were a new set of questions I had to answer. Let me explain.
In achieving my own freedom and happiness, I had to answer:
Who am I?
Because we do not always realize, understand or accept who or what we are.
What is love?
Because we set ideals and we make promises based on belief systems
that are impractical, and thus we set expectations we are incapable of fulfilling.
Why do I love?
Because we structure or allow others to structure our relationships
in ways that contradict what we really want.
Whom do I love?
Because we choose partners with whom we are obviously and fundamentally incompatible.
How do I love?
Because we engage in our relationships and intercourse in ways that are inconsistent with
the truths and reality of mating and thus limit our pleasure.
Where do I love?
Because we reside and remain in locations and environments that
do not support the fulfillment of our desires.
